During this whole process of learning how to be the person God needs me to be, I have allowed myself to be mentored by my pastor. I say that I have allowed myself to be mentored because for a long time I have been resistant of such a practice (mostly because I have been let down hard in the past). Last night we sat in a restaurant and talked about the Trinity for a good hour an a half. What we talked about was really great and Biblical sound, but what I gleaned from the conversation far surpasses the content of it. Today I feel comfortable not knowing. I don't have to know everything about God; I just have to worship him. Instead of having such vast head knowledge, I need to have an understanding in my heart, along with knowledge, that I have a great and merciful God. That what I need to model for students.
Maybe where we find most of our problems is in the fact that as a society we try to figure out everything. That heavy burden is carried into our ministries. I have been trying to figure out ministry for so long I just need to accept the fact that I need to above all else worship my merciful God. Though in my heart it scares me half to death, I have the comfort from the Holy Spirit today to do what I need to do to worship God today, and only today.
May we all be completely unsatisfied with ourselves and trust that God has a great plan of provision for us today.
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